Application, Part 1

Dear SimWorld Entertainment,

I'm sure that every applicant you receive will begin by stating "I've never done anything like this before..." so I will choose not to be different. In that manner at least.


My name is James Johns and I am a farmer wishing to apply for the slot in your upcoming tv reality show, "A Farmer Takes a Wife." I currently farm on the same spread of land as my family before me going back four generations. I knew I would eventually move back to the country and take over for my parents I had hoped it would be in the distant future.


I must admit, however, that is probably where any similarity to other applicants you receive will end.


I am a Summa Cum Laude graduate of Desiderata A&M majoring in Biology with a minor in Law. I chose these degrees for a two-fold reason. I knew that I would need to return to the farm someday, hence the Biology degree, yet I had originally planned to join the police force, hence Law.


Little did I know that my plans were not to be.

My last day at D A&M was by far the oddest day of my life. To date, that is.

Desiderata and the surrounding Valley had not had snow in June in all of recorded history. And sitings of a penguin in the area were given as much credence as the latest UFO sitings in Strangeville. Sure, there was talk, but no one would truly believe the strange tales.

You can well imagine our surprise when we awoke the final day of exams to find a coating of snow covering the campus.

So when I returned from my final exam and saw a small tuxedo-dressed flightless bird by my mailbox I paused for a moment fully expecting to hear the voice of Rod Simling and the strange music of his tv show.

Instead, I heard the voice of my career counselor Professor Jerith Coldwater calling my name.

"Mr. James?" She queried.

I discovered years ago that it is never a good thing when an elder refers to me by "Mr." but instead of running for the hills as I wanted, I nodded my head in affirmation.

She then proceeded to tell me the news that would bring my life crashing down around my ears. My parents were gone.

My wonderful parents had decided to surprise me and come to my graduation after all. Believe me when I say that getting Paw away from the farm was a major undertaking on Ma's part.

They made reservations at a local hotel and checked in to their plush room the night before. They were found this morning when the maid came to make up the room.

Apparently they had decided to take advantage of the hot tub on the balcony outside their room. While snuggling and in mid-kiss the freak snowstorm from last night blew in and somehow caused the hot tub to cross-circuit. They became conjoined icicles instantly.

Application, Part 2

And so, after a year of eating alone.

Relaxing alone.
And sl... Well, you get the rest of my meaning.

You can well imagine my surprise when I came across your advertisement in the SimFarmer Almanac.
At first I was quite adamantly opposed to the idea and yet, strangely enough, the thought has wormed it's way into my very sinew.I am enclosing several photographs of my farm for your review and approval.

Eagerly awaiting your reply,
James Johns
Big "J" Farm
Desiderata Valley

Application Photos

First we have some aerial photographs taken for insurance purposes a few years back. Our property includes the farmland across the highways as well as to the back of the house.

Another aerial shot showing more of the homestead itself. This shows the greenhouse we use to create and or modify strains of vegetables, the orchard, garage, bunkhouse, and the fishing pond. The main house, as we call it, as well as the greenhouse behind.
As you can see, the bunkhouse was once a barn. We have modified it to house up to six people at one time. It has two bathrooms, three bedrooms and a living room with bookcase, television, exercise equipment, and chessboards. All meals are served at the main house.
A better view of the greenhouse and orchard.
This concludes the attachments to my application.

Thank you again for considering me as a potential candidate for your newest show.