Application #5

Our next applicant brings with her a special challenge. We'll let her tell you about it though.

Hello, and welcome to "A Farmer Takes A Wife." Please introduce yourself and tell us why you should be considered for one of the few remaining openings.

Hello! My name is Janalee Byers.

I want to say up front that even though I love money, I realize that as a farmer's wife finances may be tight for a while. I know that it appears that I'm not suited for farm life because I'm turned on by robots and they're unlikely to be found on a farm, I'm also turned on by fitness and I'm sure that a farmer would be quite fit from working in the fields.

You do know that field work is done on tractors these days?

Of course, but farmer's still have to sling heavy bags of feed and bales of hay and straw. *swoons* You see what I mean? Physically fit!

You still haven't explained why you want to be a farmer's wife.

I'm getting to that. I'm looking to start a new life. My sister Valerie has always been overprotective and overbearing. She won't let me do anything by myself because she thinks I can't do things without getting myself in trouble. Why . . . she's even auditioning for this show herself so she can keep an eye on me. I just want a chance to live my own life and make my own mistakes. I think I'd make a good farm wife because I'm not sloppy and I don't need constant attention. I realize I'm not the most active or nice person, but I'm not completely lazy and I don't initiate fights.

*Camera switches to different view* No, you just jump into situations like these and once again I have to chase after you and make sure that you don't make a total disaster of your life.
Gods!!! Would you stop following me, Val. I can manage to have a productive life without you constantly running it . . .

Ladies! Control yourselves.

While we rearrange the setting here, let's take a moment to show you Valerie's interview as well. Then we'll pull the two sisters together and see if we can work this out peacefully.

Application #6

Our next contestant, Miss Valerie Byers, is part of a tag team pair of sisters hoping to catch James' heart. But we can find out all about their plans in a moment; let's find out a bit about her first.

Hello Valerie, and welcome to the show.

Thank you, and thank you for inviting me to be on your farmer show. I'm thrilled to be here.

And we're thrilled to have you with us on the show. Please, tell us a little about yourself. Well... I like to think that I'm just an average girl with a great sense of humor.

But also a city girl.

That doesn't mean that I'm one of those snobby, mean socialites you see in the Celebrity tabloids or anything. While I think it would be exciting to attend some of the parties you see on the celebrity pages, life on the farm sounds intriguing. I'm... ah... really a romantic at heart with a deep sense of family.

So you must be very excited at the prospect of becoming Mrs. James Johns... assuming you and James hit it off well. I hope we do. I do like a man who's good with his hands. And if I'm not the winner, I'll make sure, er I'm sure some truly deserving girl will win.

We wish you good luck with James. If you are eliminated at some point during the week, do you have any plans? After doing the late night talk show and interview circuit? *Valerie laughs*

Um, yes. Valerie, we understand your half sister, Janalee, has also made it through the elimination rounds to be a finalist here on "Farmer Wants a Wife". Are you and she planning on working together to elimnate the other contestants, or is it every woman for herself when it comes to farmer love? What can we expect if it comes down to both you and Janalee in the final round?

Now that would be telling. A woman has to have some secrets, especially when it comes to strategy.

So all's fair in love and war then? Especially in love.

Thank you Valerie and good luck in the coming days.

I've just been told that the new set has been put together to do a joint interview with the two sisters. Let's move there now, shall we?

The Sisters speak

We are stepping outside our normal routine for a few minutes to talk to the Byers Sisters regarding their entries into the "A Farmer Takes A Wife" challenge.
Ladies, I'm sure that you will be able to control yourselves and help us to understand why two sisters would want to go against each other in a challenge such as this.
Valerie: Of course we can explain. Jana is somewhat right in what she said earlier. Originally I had applied with the hopes of watching over her and keeping her from doing something she might regret for the rest of her life.
Janalee: See. She even admits to it. I think she should be disqualified. Wasn't there something in the rules against family members applying?
No, that ruling only applies to SWE/ET employees and their families. There's no legal reason we couldn't accept both of your applications.

Janalee: So she gets to stay too?

Valerie: I tried to tell you Jana dear, my reasons have changed. Will you please hear me out? As I started to say before, originally I had applied to do just what you suggested. Then I started reading more about the background of Mr. Johns and about the Desiderata Valley. It started appealing to me far more than I had expected. I want to try to win this chance of happiness myself.

Janalee: But what about me? We'll be competing against each other. Valerie: True, but at least we'll both give the other a fair fight, right?

*silence* *more silence*

Valerie: Jana? You wouldn't! Valerie: Alright Girlfriend. Bring it on.

Application #7

Here we are Ladies and Gentlemen, our last finalist. Let's meet her shall we?

Hello and welcome to "A Farmer Takes A Wife." Please introduce yourself and tell us why you wish to be chosen as a finalist for our show. Hi. I'm Vicki. Vicki Johnson. I've lived in the city all of my life and am really ready to make a change. I need something different in my life. I mean, sure the city has malls, and bars, and theaters, and off-off-off-off Mainway shows, and great transit systems, and... well, I could go on and on, but the fact is, it also has people. Lots and lots and lots of people.

Everywhere you go, there they are - more people.

What makes you want to move to a farm? Why not just move to a smaller city?

Once, when I was in elementary school, we took a field trip to a farm. Oh sure, it was really just a pumpkin farm, but there was space there. Lots and lots of space. Everywhere you looked - more space. I remember that trip so well.

There were no blowing horns, no el trains, no arguing neighbors you could hear through paper-thin walls, no sirens blaring 24/7, no people looking out their apartment windows straight into your apartment windows, no... Oh gee, I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to get so heated up over city living. *takes a deep breath*
Anyway, as I was saying, just space. Space to live, silence to think, good fresh air to breath. That's what I'm looking for.

And what about the Farmer?

Oh, don't worry. I'll gladly share my space with him, if you get my meaning. He'll have no reason to worry or complain about that.
I... *ahem* I see.
Well, there we are Ladies and Gentlemen. The seven finalists who hope to woo and win fair Farmer's heart.

Who will be successful? Who will be the first to go? We will be finding that out soon.

Please join us, if you will, for the first installment of "A Farmer Takes A Wife" coming soon to a television near you.

This show is brought to you by SimWorld Entertainment, a subsidiary of Edukational Teknologi. If it's fun and Edukational, it must be SWE/ET.

Our producers would like to thank the following people who helped in the filming of many of the auditions and interviews you have seen here; Captain Angelia, Aeronwy, Kethwyn, Kimberly, Lisa, Ruby, and Suz.

Introductions

Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen. Welcome to the very first episode of "A Farmer Takes A Wife" created and shown exclusively thanks to SimWorld Entertainment, a subsidiary of Edukational Teknologi.

I am your Hostess, your Mistress of Ceremonies so to speak, MiMi EmmCee. We were very pleased with the number of applications we received from both farmers and the women who wish to wed them. It was a difficult job to decide which applications to keep and which to discard. Well, that's not entirely true, some applications were quite easy to toss. For instance, some were too old. Some seemed too desperate. Not to mention being the wrong gender for procreation. Some had already started procreating. Some were just too strange to be seriously considered. (We later discovered this one is a resident of a local asylum. Poor thing.)

And others had family members employed by SWE/ET.

Very funny! Now will someone please get my cousin CeeCee's picture off the screen? What...?
Oh dear, I'm sorry about that. Let's introduce you to some of the applicates who did make it through to the final selection.

Application #1

We here at SWE/ET would like to introduce one of the possible “brides” for our farmer John Johns, Ann Rukavina.

Hello, Ms. Rukavina. Welcome to the show.

Thank you. It’s really good to be here.

Well, this is really an exciting time for you, isn’t it? What was it that drew you to audition for the show?

Well, I come from a really small town, you see. Where everything has been done. When I heard that a reality television show was coming to a town nearby, I jumped at the chance. I wanted to get away from the small town I grew up in, to expand my horizons.

Expand your horizons? If you were born and raised in a small town, what need do you have to “expand your horizons”? Please, explain this to us.

Well, it’s quite simple. It has been my dream to create something … something that everyone will want to buy. I can’t get ideas for that living in such a small town where resources are limited.

Well, you’d be moving to another small town though if you get chosen for the show. It’s a farming community. How is moving from one small town to a farming community going to assist you in your ultimate goal?

It’s going to expose me to the world. This is a sim-nationally syndicated show, isn’t it? I’m sure that this will open doors for me. I’m sure it will help me achieve me dream of owning my own business, too. Maybe a chain! Yeah! Everyone will know my name! My name will be on the lips of every sim in the nation!

But what about your husband? What if you win and become James Johns’ wife. Surely he’s going to need your help on the farm.

Oh, don’t you worry about that. It all fits together.

Does it really?

Why certainly! I’ve got it all figured out.

Hmm. Well, this is all really interesting, but we’re out of time. Thank you again, Ms. Rikavina, for coming. If you are chosen, I’m sure you’ll be hearing from us very soon.

Thanks for having me.

Is there anything you’d like to leave our viewers with before we go?

Sure! Remember my name. You’re going to be seeing it EVERYWHERE soon!

Application #2

Some of the applicants won us over when we saw their audition tape. For these lucky women we didn't even bother setting up an interview we just sent them acceptance letters right away. I'm sure that you will understand why when we show you our introduction to Barbara Stibbe.

**Cues video - there's a moment of empty air, the camera shooting a chair with nobody in it … the sounds of a tap running for a few seconds and then footsteps can be heard, before a young woman sits down in the chair, holding a glass of water*

Okay, let's see. *pauses to take a sip of water before setting on a table beside her* My name is Barbara Stibbe and I'm applying to be on your show 'Farmer Wants a Wife.' I think I'd be good for your farmer because I'm very interested in the environment and the thought of making money while keeping the whole cycle of life thing going sounds neat.

And I plan to have lots of friends, so there'll always be someone around to help out and all that fresh food and good friends can let you have some great parties! But it's nice being in the country and away from all those strangers who always want to get up in your business. I mean, what's up with people telling me to have a nice day? What if I don't want to have a nice day! Just leave me alone, y'know? Farms have all sorts of robotic things on them these days too and I find robots really sexy. Maybe if some of the equipment breaks we could find someone to make us a robot housekeeper or something!

*takes another sip of water, then stares into the camera for ten seconds* I think that's it. Yeah, that's it. Environment, money, friends, robots. Oh! And James… that was his name, right? I know you didn't give us his last name, but anyway, your Farmer won't have to worry when he comes in from the field that I won't give him a hug and a kiss like a lot of other girls. I know most people find it icky when a guy sweats. But to me, it shows he's really a man and that just, can I say it makes me all hot? Well, it does. So I like the thought of knowing he'll be sweating out in the sun all day and then come home to me. So that's it. Thanks! *gets up from the chair and heads to the camera … image ends*

I want to take a moment to apologize to our viewing audience and to the farmer himself. I inadvertantly referred to our Bachelor Farmer last episode as John Johns. His name is actually James Johns.